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I don't do math anymore. I decided I'm more of a visual person.
Visualize being the only 45-year-old in the first grade.
I can always get by on my good looks and charm!
"I've been thinking, Hobbes." "On a weekend?" "Well, it wasn't on purpose...."
(Calvin): We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
(Calvin:) Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
(Calvin:) If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
(Calvin:) Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success...flat stretches of boring routine...and valleys of frustration and failure.
(Calvin:) So the secret to good self esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?
(Calvin:) The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.
(Calvin:) The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
(Calvin:) There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you and how much fun it is.
(Calvin:) There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
(Calvin:) Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
(Hobbes:) Live and don't learn, that's us.
(Hobbes:) The best presents don't come in boxes.
(Hobbes:) The problem with people is that they´re only human.
(Hobbes:) Until you stalk and overrun, you can´t devour anyone.
(Hobbes:) Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he put tigers in them.
A day passes incredibly fast when you're consentrating on avoiding what you SHOULD be doin.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. Hobbes: What mood is that? Calvin : Last-minute panic.
Calvin: Dad, Look! The sun's setting and it's only 3 o'clock. Dad: It's not 3 o'clock. Your watch stopped. Calvin: Time doesn't stop if your watch stopped? Dad: Nope. Calvin: Phooey. For a moment there I thought I'd get rich patenting this thing. Dad: I'D have bought one.
Calvin: I can't sleep, Hobbes. I've been thinking. Hobbes: About what? Calvin: Well, I suppose there's no afterlife. That would mean this life is all you get. And that would mean I'm sitting here in bed as precious moments of my all-too-short life disappear forever. Mum: Honey, wake up. Do you hear the television on?
Calvin: I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
Calvin: I was put on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die.
Calvin: I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky. Hobbes: What if you find someone you can talk to while you eat apples on a bright fall morning? Calvin: Well, yeah... I suppose there's no point in getting greedy, is there?
Calvin: People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
Calvin: Who's the bimbo with you in this old prom picture? Dad: THAT "BIMBO" IS YOUR MOTHER!"
Calvin: Why can't I stay up late? You guys can! IT'S NOT FAIR! Dad: The world isn't fair, Calvin. Calvin: I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Do you hate being a girl? What's it like? Is it like being a bug? I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to comprehend the magnitude of it.
I am not currently able to divulge this information, as it may compromise our agents in the field.
I have a hammer! I can put things together. I can tear things apart. I can alter my enviroment while making an incredible din the whole time. God, its great to be a male.
I have all theses great genes, But they're recessive. That's the problem here.
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can play together all night!
If something is so complicated that u can't explain it in 10 secs , then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
Mum: Someday I hope you have a kid that puts you through what I've gone through. Calvin: Yeah, Grandma says that's what she used to tell you.
My Life needs a rewind/erase button.
Nothing spoils fun like learning out it builds character.
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? It's a beautiful world all right.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Susie if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police you CANNOT trace us, you CANNOT find us. Sincerely, Calvin.
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity.
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little pratice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little pratice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
What's the point of wearing your lucky rocketship underpants if no one asks to see 'em?
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!
You know, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.